iris

How do we know when we are going crazy--those of us who live in our minds?

You have a right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you.

mustard gas and roses

So the rent became whiskey, and my life became risky.

to the max

Today was an abnormally bad day. The kind of bad day where you go through every type of negative emotion there is, until you feel so completely exhausted that you just say dash it all and go to the grocery store and buy Boddington's and a six-pack. Options are nice, after all. I'm leaving the grocery store, standing in front of the trunk of my car in that awkward, semi-vulnerable place between unlocked car and locked car, when this skinny twenty-something-maybe kid comes up to me. Kid tells me he is doing a project for class and I look friendly. This admission throws me for a loop. I have been feeling anything but friendly today. So, sucker that I am, I listen. Soon I realize this is one of those order-three-magazines-and-send-Kid-to-Hawaii scams. I stop listening. Tell Kid no. Kid persists. I keep thinking what an idiot I am for having complied in the first place. I tell Kid I'm a student and don't have time to read magazines. I don't want them. I hate them. I'm in a hurry. I've had a bad day. Finally, I tell Kid to try some other people--lots of suckers go to Harris Teeter. Kid transforms into mean-looking scoundrel. Kid tells me yesterday he had 33 people order magazine and 22 so far today.

Then, the clincher.

"And Happy Hanukkah. I'm a Christian."

Me: stunned. Bewildered. wtf mate? What does that have to do with anything, especially your stupid magazine scam.

Driving in my car, contemplating the insanity that just occurred, I realize I am wearing my beloved green Silver Jews tee-shirt. Silver Jews as in the band. As in music. As in poetry.

As in if I ever seen that damn Kid again, I'll make him listen to "Punks in the Beerlight" on repeat. What an asshole.